Conflicting Emotions
As I touched in my previous blog post, much of displaying emotions conflict between Chinese and American culture. The two cultures differ in almost every way. Recently, I've had some difficultly in determining how to deal with more emotional circumstances. I'm still not particularly comfortable with verbal affirmation; mostly because I am afraid it may not seem genuine.
Throughout my life, I have been fortunate to have been free from any personal tragedies. A few months ago, the condition of my grandfather turned for the worst, but fortunately, he has improved dramatically. To be honest, I've been almost awaiting for the time to come for some personal tragedy to occur. While I am not particularly close with my grandfather, it is much more emotional for what is going on for my father; I've never seen my father be so emotional in my life. In these emotional circumstances, I am perplexed on how I should express my sympathy and emotions.
Chinese culture doesn't really allow expression and is very private in nature; it is how it is in my family at least. Contrary to being exposed to American culture as seen in media and even through my friends, I have a difficult time expressing emotions in traditional ways like words of affirmation. While I have a language barrier with limited Chinese vocabulary, it's not the primary for the lack of ability to express my emotions with my family. The fundamental reasoning is that I have never expressed my feels to my family in that way throughout my lifetime.
Though, there are definitely benefits in teaching emotion moderation like being able to separate emotions from decision-making (e.g. professionally). Being able to control emotions is certainly one of the most important learned skills in life. I am where I am in life because of how I handle my emotions; I don't know whether that is good or bad, but I like to think I have a great life. Of course, there is balance of expression to be had (just like everything in life).