Guy Problems

There's always a time in any person's life where you decide to finally grow up.

I've been debating with myself on if it would be appropriate to write about the following topic for quite some time now (over 3 years). I may never have the same reputation from you after reading this. You may lose or gain respect for me. Or if you truly know me, nothing would change.

The topic is guy problems with a concentration on issues in the bathroom:
-The occasional splash back while using a urinal
-Not knowing what to look at while at the urinal (Down? Up? Straight? I'll look straight)
-Not knowing if your in a "who can pee longer" competition with the guy that got to the other urinal at the same time
-The drips that cannon be shaken off
-Dealing with the terrible smell of using a unflushed urinal
-Waking up in the morning with a hard and needing to piss. No time to wait, must do the bend.
-Having an erection but need to poop
-Erect or not, penis not touching the toilet while number twoing
-The first uncontrollable half second of peeing after recent ejaculation (Yeah, you know it! Well... if you're a male) or with your first morning pee.
-Any that happens in gym shorts

With this said, guys, just own up to all of these.