Notice: There won't be posts like this very often, I promise.
There are moments in your life that you know will change your life forever. From the moment you realize that a person you have admired probably isn't the person you once thought to the moment you realized you met the person you want to be with for the rest of the life.
As I witnessed one of my good friends get married to what seems to be the perfect woman for him, one can't help but think of one's own future. For those who don't know me, I've never once been in a committed relationship. And it's not all a negative thing after seeing countless relationships going into flames.
So people often ask me why haven't I've been a serious relationship. I think to myself and can't come up with one particular reason but with multiple. First, I'm terrible with conversation; can't do it, I'm socially awkward. And add the pressure of talking to someone I'm attracted to, I'm doomed from the start. I'm not smooth in the social scene, in conversation or in my dancing.
I'm extremely critical. It's not only about the appearances for me, I'm critical about every aspect. It's in my personality to be critical about everything, including myself. I'm the guy that doesn't buy a shirt because of a tiny stitch pattern on the corner of the front pocket that most people wouldn't have noticed. I usually know who or what I like immediately (at least it makes shopping simple sometimes, rejecting 99% of the products right off the bat) and my opinion on the matter rarely changes.
Then, it is my personality that is an issue. As you already probably think, I'm a really nice guy (depending on how long you have known me, maybe even surprised I've never been in a serious relationship). So why not? It's not that I really don't desire to be in a relationship, most of us do. But after seeing so many heart breaking relationships, I never, ever, want to hurt a person like that (even if they do recover, like in the majority of cases). The simplest way to avoid that, just don't go into relationships. I am in no way a risk taker when it involves relationships, I won't and I refuse. And there is almost always something better if you look hard enough, so if you love someone so much, wouldn't you be happier if he or she was happier even if it means he or she is with someone else?
Don't forget the fear of rejection but most people have that (I think).
And as one friend put it: "You getting a girlfriend is the worst thing that could happen to our friendship."
I think my family, especially my parents, are worried that I will be alone forever, even taking some action. But thankfully, I'm not slightly bothered by it at this point. Maybe in 15 years...