Online Dating

Try it before you talk about it. After months of I called "failed attempts", I am ready to write about online dating.

There it was. Did you feel that? It was the stigma that comes with online dating. I've met tons of people (many of them as single as me) that have suggested online dating for my situation and would never consider online dating themselves. It gives off a similar feeling when children try to persuade other children to do something insanely dangerous/immature. I didn't jump the shark of online dating because I'm desperate and can't find someone in reality (which I can't seem to do). I did it because it would be a supplement to my current efforts (or the lack of).

The first obstacle of the entire experience is choosing the dating site; for reference I did Match and okcupid (OKC). You probably know others and you may even say "You should try **Insert Name Here** because I know someone that found their partner there!". Thanks for the recommendation.

The real mountain is up next: building your profile. Just like the resumes, it's the only thing you'll be judge upon by potential suitors. So the advice given here is to put as much of your personality into your profile as possible. But really, you can't, because it'll probably scare off majority of viewers. So you have to put mundane generic personality traits/interests that will hopefully captures the interest of potential love interests. (At okcupid, you should answer questions like to that too. Like this guy.)

Then, you're off to fill in the "Attributes" which is what you will be judge upon (filtered, really) throughout your entire experience on the site. This includes Race, Height, Body Type, Smoking/Drinking habits, Religion, Income, and your thoughts on children (or if you have any already). Most of which you should probably know how to fill out but don't know whether you should on the site or not. All of these attributes can be filtered on meaning my average height of 5' 9" probably will eliminate 83% or more potential suitors right off the bat. Am I athletic? Am I average or skinny (slender)?! I'll just put athletic (that's what women like right?). Prior advice about money is to never talk about it, but stating it to the internet would neglect it (so I don't put it. I don't want any gold diggers; it takes too much touch her). Then, you have the entire process of choosing the "perfect" profile picture (similar to LinkedIN but for the dating scene).

Full disclosure, here is my profile (thoughts/comments are welcome):

"When we meet for the first time, you may be taken aback by my stunning smile. I'm a native Rhode Islander lost in the Midwest after becoming an engineer at UConn. While I'm an engineer now, I want to one day become a teacher and would like to encourage the importance of STEM in education as much as possible. I love reading about science and technology, and want to be able to share my enthusiasm for these areas.

I spend most of my free time getting out and being active. I enjoy tennis, golf (even though I just started and am still pretty bad), hiking, and most other activities. I’ve traveled around the country and have been to 42 states (give or take a few). I haven’t forgotten about the remaining states, I still have plans to visit them. When I’m not active, I enjoy blogging, watching an episode of Seinfeld, or trying new foods. I am captivated by food and love all types of cuisine. In fact, I would like to someday own a restaurant.

I’ve been extremely lucky throughout my life as I have great family and friends. They have impacted my life in more ways than I could write down; so instead, I just want to say how thankful I am to have them.

When I think about you, I really hope you are someone honest, loyal, kind, fun, quirky, and athletic. I want to experience and try new things with you, but I also hope that you won’t mind taking the lead at times.

I hope to meet you soon."

Then, it's off to the races! Or so I thought... After months on these sites, I have yet to go on a date. As you curiously browse through profiles that meet the filters you set, you start to build up a sense of common characteristics to them. First of all, there are numerous of profile stating "I'm new here"/"I'm just looking around here" or the most common of all "I don't know what to write there but..." All of which don't tell you much about them except that they like to have fun (in general) and are happy about their lives. As a male looking for a female, I started to observed that majority of women around my area specifically are looking for Catholic/Christian males over 5' 10" (missed that by an inch, literally!), White/Caucasian, and older than themselves.

So the question in your head, what are my filters? Plain and simple: Between the ages of 21-29. Does not smoke. That is all! So what drives me away from majority of profiles? Of course the profile picture.

Full Disclosure, my profile picture:

But then, I'm turned off by the lack of information on their profile. Or even worse, the misuse of words (e.g. they/their/they're). There is a sense that it's okay to be picky on the sites since it's digital and you're probably doing it alone. It would be comical to browsing through an online dating site with my friends and family watching. There would be plentiful energetic "What's wrong with her?!" which is similar to "What's wrong with that?!" when I'm shopping for clothes (not to say that looking for a partner is similar to buying clothes...). Browsing for potential partners does not end on the site though; you receive daily emails suggesting people that you may be interested in. This is actually surprisingly useful in reminding you are subscribed on the dating site.

So would I recommend online dating? Well... My response is why not give it a try? You can put as little effort as you want into it but like most other things, it probably won't produce any desired results if you don't put the effort. Well, that's probably too general of a statement. It probably won't produce any desire results unless you're a female. I've read/heard that women are bombarded by emails from men. There is still "something" that forces the thought that men should initiate conversation. Another aspect I would like to see in virtual dating is the integration of friends and family since they will often have an opinion and could push someone in a direction that they may not go themselves. While online dating may push being extremely selective (to a point where it's unrealistic), it can be an additional supplement to dating. At least you don't have to look for rings and sort of know that the other party is looking for the some thing.

I still can't wait to go on my first date!

I will take any questions/comments.