The Unspoken Parts

There are things about the human body that people don't seem to talk about. This commonly includes farts (all the different types particularly the silent killers), looking at toilet paper after a wipe, naturally knowing how fast a #2 is going to go, how someone grooms, and how sometimes it's impossible to shake it all of after a piss as a guy. I may be going outside the comfort zones for some people so that's as far as I will go in terms of awkwardness. (I have one post I have hesitated from posting due to it's awkwardness. If I get 20 different people to comment on this post, I'll post it within a week of the 20th comment. All anonymous comments only count as one.) I assume people don't talk about these things because they don't want to know that they are the odd one out and are often insecure with their bodies. Another is

So I'll announce to the world some of my abilities:

I like to crack/pop multiple of joints of my body including:

a. My neck- Extremely satisfying. "Look Ma! No hands!"

b. My jaw- This started shortly after removing my wisdom teeth, 

c. My ankles- I like this especially when I stretch laying down when I wake up,

d. My knees- Every morning when I bend down

e. My elbows- This is constant by rotating my hand 

f. My wrists- This is frequent but I used to be able to do it on command when I was younger

g. My groin- Probably the most nerving-racking one to pop

h. Every finger-including the the low part of my thumbs, my favorite. Basically three cracks/pops on each finger

i. Toes- Can be cracked on command especially the two larger ones

j. Shoulders- Cracks by rotating them forward and back, my back shoulders by swinging my arms back

k. Back- Probably my all time favorite. Makes the loudest and longest series of cracks/pops.

Cracking joints do not seem to cause arthritis. And the sound of the cracking/popping of the joints is called Crepitus. I wish I was double-jointed...

I can raise my right eye brow without my left brow because of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson but I can't raise the left independently. The picture above is of me trying to raise my left eye brow...

I can make rumbling sounds like a rocket launching in my ears that only I can hear by voluntarily contracting muscles (including the tensor tympani muscle). I thought everyone could do this but I guess that's not the case; it's a great way to not hear spoilers without looking like a fool by having your fingers in your eyes while making random noises. Try yawning to contract those ear muscle if you can't do it voluntarily.  

My favorite muscle in my body may be the masseter muscles; it is the muscle in shown above. It is used primary for chewing. It becomes more prevalent when it contracts when chewing or clamping your teeth together; it is often associated with anger and aggressiveness. I like to contract it for fun and massaging it feels utterly relaxing. It's quite noticeably defined on my face.