Who are you Flu-ing?

Since we are in the middle of the flu season, which has reached epidemic level according to the CDC, I will offer my best advice in order to avoid getting sick.

While I, and many other workers in America (1 in 3), don't receive any sick days, you should take sick days if you're actually sick. That would make it easier for the healthy humans in the workplace. But since people go into school or work with illnesses (to save vacation time), we must be creative in not catching the flu or any sickness.

After coming back from the holiday break, you may be tired after the first week back so what better time to go on a vacation?! Especially if you're from the north, take a vacation to the south where the delirious locals think high 70s is too cold to go to the beach. You won't get sick at the beach if no one is there! Antartica is probable an awesome destination to avoid any illnesses (think penguins!).  

Maybe a vacation isn't the best thing to do in your mind, maybe a change of careers is better. What more motivation to change careers if you are "sick" of your workplace. You can't take your cube-mate coughing and sneezing into their hands any longer. So what career path would I recommend? Well to avoid sickness, you can apply to a semi-conductor manufacturer where you'll work in a clean room. You could simply become a surgeon; it's naturally a clean job (hopefully. Great benefits and pay too, I hear.). Or if you're an engineer or have a flexible schedule, you can work from home or work from the hours of 10pm-6am!

Is taking a vacation or changing career may be too drastic for you? If so, you could dress up as Subzero (or any animated/superhero character that has a mask)!

Or you could be uncreative and go into work/school in a bubble like Jake Gyllenhaal in the imaginatively-named movie "Bubble Boy". If that isn't your thing, you could just drag around your own supply of oxygen. 

Maybe you are lazy... You could just get the flu shot that apparently has a 62% efficiency rate. If you like orange juice, just drink a gallon of it with every meal! Remember to wash your hands often! And if you don't think washing your hands is enough, go home and shower! (Thank goodness I have a flexible hours as an engineer!)

But the best way to deal with the flu is to be as amazing as me. My superior immune system is in 99.9999 percentile. Just remember to be more like me. I don't think people remind themselves of that enough.